Messin’ with scammers and marital fidelity

By Bo Wagner - Contributing Columnist

Most of my readers know that one of my favorite pastimes is actually answering scam emails.

I loathe, abhor and detest the fact that wicked people try to steal from and do other damage to good people, and often succeed. As such, I feel no remorse at all for poking them a bit.

And often, as is the case with this scam email and response, there is a spiritual lesson to be gleaned from it.

So here then is the email I recently received, and the response I sent back:

“Have a nice day, dear! It’s Barbara. I am so excited to see you here. I’ve always dreamed of a man like you. And it is simply wonderful that we live in the same city, and most probably we are so near to each other. It’s wonderful that we are so near, and we can reach each other easily. If you feel bored so we can spend unforgettable time together. It will be really exciting, won’t it? It is easy to find me here at this site. I’ll be waiting for your soonest reply with impatience and I’ll be dreaming about our meeting. So long — Barbara.”

“Barbara, you … are … amazing! I too have been dreaming of meeting you. I have actually been dreaming of meeting ANYONE since my diagnosis came back. No worries, though, I am pretty sure the antibiotics will clear things up soon.

“I hope you will not find this request too awkward, but I need to explain to you that I am married, and she will need to chaperone our time together. There really is no choice in this; she and I are conjoined Siamese twins. I figured, ‘Hey, if you can’t leave them, marry them!’ True, most people frown on brother and sister betrothal, but under the circumstances, this setup really works for us. At least, when we are not fighting and in court it does. Let me tell you, hiring a divorce lawyer in our situation is tricky. Every time one of us tries to confer with our lawyer, the other one is listening in, and half of the time interrupting our consultation. Three lawyers have resigned and become monks thus far.

“To make matters trickier still, you need to know that I, or I guess I should say we, were in Vietnam. Lots of people were, I know. But not everyone is a conjoined Siamese twin who has stepped on a landmine. That would not have been so bad if our doctor had been more competent.

“But alas, he was pretty bad. He put my wife’s lips on me, and vice-versa. Mick Jagger does not look as lippy as I do. He put my big toe where my wife’s nose was. That stinks. He put her nose where my big toe should have been, and now that sucker really runs.

“Are we still good, even with all this? Because if we are, I would love to meet. Looking forward to hearing from you — Hill and Billary.”

My wife and I had a good laugh about the email and intentionally silly response. But it brings up the realization that the devil is actively trying to tempt husbands and wives to break their vows to each other. God created the home, he made the husband and wife union which then often produces children.

The home is a picture of his love for the church, and as such, the devil hates it. And since he hates it, he uses any means of temptation necessary to ruin it. 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.”

Briefly, here are some steps you can take that will go a long way toward protecting your marriage from the traps the devil will set for you. One, observe the “no provision clause” of Scripture found in Romans 13:14. Never give yourself an opportunity to do wrong, and you will not do wrong.

Two, be completely transparent and fully accountable to your spouse. Secrets are the breeding ground for sins.

Three, put intimacy with your spouse at the top of the to-do list, and work everything else around it. A satisfied mate is usually a staying mate; an unsatisfied mate is often a straying mate.

Four, never forget the law of sowing and reaping. There are consequences for adultery and they are devastating. Counting the cost helps expose a seemingly attractive temptation for the ugly thing it really is.

Five, think things through all the way to the end of the line. People do not usually end up in an assisted living center holding the hand of a mistress or a sugar daddy. Those old folks still loving each other into their golden years are likely the ones who stayed faithful all along the way, turning every would-be paramour aside as the trespassing scoundrel they really are.

Six, never think you are too strong or too pure to fall. If David, the man after God’s own heart, can fall, any of us can. A large dose of humility and healthy fear goes a long way toward keeping a marriage safe.

Long live fidelity in marriage.

By Bo Wagner

Contributing Columnist

Bo Wagner is pastor of the Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, N.C., a widely traveled evangelist, and the author of several books. Dr. Wagner can be contacted by email at [email protected]

Bo Wagner is pastor of the Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, N.C., a widely traveled evangelist, and the author of several books. Dr. Wagner can be contacted by email at [email protected]